Home office renders company completely lifeless

Following the global trend towards more workspace flexibility, a large telecommunications company has changed more thoroughly than ever expected. The company has offered home working as a standard.  The majority of employees - bored by corporate politics and the lack of real change - have chosen to take full advantage of the proposal. Two months … Continue reading Home office renders company completely lifeless

BLOCKED By The System: Innovation Is Just Too Difficult

An employee given the mission, budget, time and the "freedom" to innovate, has been hindered at every step. The motivated employee, Catherine Ormond, was keen to buy a product as part of a quick technical demonstration.  She wanted to follow start-up logic of fail fast, fail cheap. However, Catherine was blocked at the first hurdle; … Continue reading BLOCKED By The System: Innovation Is Just Too Difficult

Too Many Chefs And Not Enough Cooks

A company has recognized that it currently has at least 2 managers for every 1 employee. The realisation came after consultants were asked to understand the company's nose diving quality, customer satisfaction and staff engagement results.  The poor results are in spite of having a swelling order books and a healthy cash flow. The root cause: … Continue reading Too Many Chefs And Not Enough Cooks

Continuous Reorganization beats Continuous Improvement

Recognizing that legions of change agents promoting continuous improvements were not able to break ground for a cultural change in his company , the CEO of a large toothpaste manufacturer has taken the decision to switch to a more radical model: continuous reorganization. Switching from the well known lean technique of "5-whys" to a blame … Continue reading Continuous Reorganization beats Continuous Improvement

Proof: End of month reporting frenzy detrimental to your health

Big data analytics has revealed a new insight into corporate life: sick days at the beginning of the month are directly linked to end of month reporting. An AI system at a large product development company has made this correlation after data scientist Brian Watkins decided to look into staff attendance data as a joke. … Continue reading Proof: End of month reporting frenzy detrimental to your health

Yucca Plant Considers Suicide Due To Lack Of Empathy In The Office

A Yucca plant is seriously considering suicide after being constantly subjected to office politics, it has emerged. "I'm at the end", said the plant.  "It's simply too much.  One minute Sally is nice to James, then as soon as his back is turned, she moans to her other colleagues about his repetitive and dull story … Continue reading Yucca Plant Considers Suicide Due To Lack Of Empathy In The Office

It’s Official: Talking About Doing Things Is Now More Important Than Actually Doing Things.

A company has decided to award bonuses for talking instead of delivering. Many employees now feel fully vindicated that their calendars, already full of pointless hours worth of talking, are now truly worthwhile. Hot Air Producer Andreas Prigge claimed, "I am number one in this company for creating meetings about meetings. I take real pride in … Continue reading It’s Official: Talking About Doing Things Is Now More Important Than Actually Doing Things.

Keen young hopeful drops dead while following plan for ‘successful’ people

A young woman who was sure she was headed for the top, has been found dead at her desk, it has emerged. The tragedy is that Katie Jones, was found with her laptop open and displaying line after line the following statement: "all work and no play will make Katie a super CEO one day". … Continue reading Keen young hopeful drops dead while following plan for ‘successful’ people

Talent Program Exposed As A Cloning Program

A large high tech business has been in hot water with the Health and Safety Executive after a whistle-blower claimed that their 'talent development program' was actually a 'CEO clone development program'. For years it seems that talents were subjected to brainwashing, drugging and corporate challenges to see how closely they could replicate their aging … Continue reading Talent Program Exposed As A Cloning Program