Analysis of executive level emails has revealed a shocking fact: most internal emails between the different executives are related only to petty infighting with each other. PhD students studying executive behaviours asked some of the biggest blue chip companies in the world, if they could use Big Data to analyse the way in which business … Continue reading Laughable: Executive Communication Equivalent to 4 Year Old Children
A man given a nomination letter to run a project, has failed to attract any followers, it has emerged. The 'high potential future leader' of the company, John Smith, was unilaterally nominated to run the project by the board of executives. A move seen at the working level as deeply unpopular and symptomatic of the … Continue reading Man With Nomination Letter Fails To Attract Followers
An investigation was launched at a large metal commodities company: a young man, who was promoted to 'team leader', did not arrive on the next day transformed into a suit wearing, KPI demanding psychopathic police enforcer, as was normally the case. By 1100 in the morning the global supply of metal commodities had ground to … Continue reading SHOCK! Millennial Manager Causes Mayhem at Firm
A company that asked its employees to define their shared values has discovered a surprising result. The firm has realised that it is the least ambitious company in the history of the world. Staff had the choice of numerous nouns describing values including: passion, ambition, collaboration, inspiration, agility, fun. Employees could also propose options which would … Continue reading Company Values Exercise Exposes Total Lack Of Ambition
In line with a trend sweeping corporations across the globe, A 300 year old banking company has launched a 'diversity' program to help increase innovation. The company faces an existential threat in the form of cryptocurrency. The executive group are all white males, ranging in age from 60 to 65, were all educated at Oxford, … Continue reading Diversity Initiative The Answer To BLOCKCHAIN Threat.
An employee who is well known for rigorously following processes, has reportedly been stuck in an endless loop for 4 days. The crisis occurred upon visiting the toilet; the employee found that the male toilets symbol was missing the head. The worker, who seems to have lost all power of common sense thanks to his … Continue reading Stuck In The Process: The Extreme Loss Of Common Sense
An employee given the mission, budget, time and the "freedom" to innovate, has been hindered at every step. The motivated employee, Catherine Ormond, was keen to buy a product as part of a quick technical demonstration. She wanted to follow start-up logic of fail fast, fail cheap. However, Catherine was blocked at the first hurdle; … Continue reading BLOCKED By The System: Innovation Is Just Too Difficult
A company has recognized that it currently has at least 2 managers for every 1 employee. The realisation came after consultants were asked to understand the company's nose diving quality, customer satisfaction and staff engagement results. The poor results are in spite of having a swelling order books and a healthy cash flow. The root cause: … Continue reading Too Many Chefs And Not Enough Cooks
A Yucca plant is seriously considering suicide after being constantly subjected to office politics, it has emerged. "I'm at the end", said the plant. "It's simply too much. One minute Sally is nice to James, then as soon as his back is turned, she moans to her other colleagues about his repetitive and dull story … Continue reading Yucca Plant Considers Suicide Due To Lack Of Empathy In The Office
A company has decided to award bonuses for talking instead of delivering. Many employees now feel fully vindicated that their calendars, already full of pointless hours worth of talking, are now truly worthwhile. Hot Air Producer Andreas Prigge claimed, "I am number one in this company for creating meetings about meetings. I take real pride in … Continue reading It’s Official: Talking About Doing Things Is Now More Important Than Actually Doing Things.